We sang this song at the ministry at school and the lyrics radiated in my mind. I'm a sucker for a good Christmas song but this is what I'm going to be singing when I praise my Father in heaven this Christmas.
here are the lyrics:
When the walls close in around me
Let Your glory light the darkness of my night
When the suffering's all that I see
May I walk with You by faith and not by sight
On the throne of sweet surrender
I have nothing but to offer You my life
Greater love I have not found it
Oh by mercy You have eased this troubled mind
Open hearted I will search and I will find
Whoa
Sin is broken
The lost now chosen
The Father's heart
Humble king You go before me
By Your grace I stand for everything that's true
Through Your Son I am made worthy
There's no other who can love me like You do
And forever I keep running back to You
Sin is broken
The lost now chosen
The father's heart
Father's Heart- Hillsong
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Do you like me? check yes or no.
My life, has been blessed, crazy, stressful, beautiful, one huge learning experience...my experience with the opposite sex has been limited and somewhat hurtful but God has captured my heart and is teaching me a lot about these specimens called boys and the way our God loves his daughters.
The ministry I go to at East Carolina had this great message last week- the moral of the message: God likes you. Jesus likes you. I giggled in my head- hahahah what? It baffled me to think that Jesus likes me. I hear, I sing, I know (in my brain) that Jesus loves me. God loves me. Its almost as if we've become numb to the fact that Jesus loves us because we hear it...a lot. But an important aspect of the gospel that so many of us miss is that Jesus likes us. The speaker talked about when the woman was caught to in the act of adultery and brought to Jesus. He commanded the Pharisees to cast the first stone if they've never sinned. After I was thinking about this- Jesus never sinned, so technically he could have cast that stone but he didn't. He liked that woman, He loved her.
I've always struggled with identity issues and insecurities. The Lord revealed to me that a lie that I've grown up believing is- I am not worth it. I have something wrong with me and I can't do anything right. What a lie from the enemy. I've been trying to identify these places in my heart where I believe this lie and really surrender it to the Lord. I remember in elementary school writing on a sheet of paper asking if this boy- David- liked me and wanted to be my boyfriend (I'm sure now they text each other in elementary school) but the little boy looked at me and said no.
I grew up thinking that I wasn't worthy of that little boy saying yes and that played into every other relationship that I've had. Thats why in high school I never had a 'real boyfriend' just one guy who I fooled around with....and in middle school I believed that where I lived and how I dressed determined that I wasn't good enough for the boys.
I realized in Bolivia this summer when I shared my testimony with our group that I was still carrying a lot of hurt and wounds from those silly boys who told me 'no' and I believed that was who I was- the girl that wasn't worthy of being loved....or even liked.
So when I heard this message that hey- Jesus likes you. That he would and does everyday check 'yes' on that sheet of paper asking if he likes us and if he'll spend eternity with me... That he was embarrassed, beaten to a pulp, emotional and physically wounded on this earth- because he likes me.
Wow.
Isn't that what we're all searching for? I can specifically identify certain things I did in high school in order for people to like me. I changed the way I dressed, I said offensive and rude things, I made fun of and laughed at people- just so some girl or boy would look at me and say- yes....I accept you.
Jesus accepts you. He doesn't love you like a distant relative that only wants to see you in a stuffy church singing boring hymns. He looks at the way you laugh, the way you cry, your body posture, your weird quirks, the crazy dancing you do when your door is locked and you just feel like it.....He likes that about you- He likes your mind, the way you think and speak, the way you use your hands when you talk. You are not only loved...but liked.
At that meeting the speaker played a song and told us to ask God what He thinks about us- I closed my eyes and asked Him to give me a vision of the way He thinks about me. This is what I saw:
I was standing in a crowded room, in the back. Everyone else was out shining me in their beauty, humor, intelligence and I was small in comparison to them. I felt unseen, undervalued, and alone. Then Jesus got on stage and pointed directly at me. The crowd separated and I walked to the front. He said- I see you, I value you, I like you, I choose you.
The ministry I go to at East Carolina had this great message last week- the moral of the message: God likes you. Jesus likes you. I giggled in my head- hahahah what? It baffled me to think that Jesus likes me. I hear, I sing, I know (in my brain) that Jesus loves me. God loves me. Its almost as if we've become numb to the fact that Jesus loves us because we hear it...a lot. But an important aspect of the gospel that so many of us miss is that Jesus likes us. The speaker talked about when the woman was caught to in the act of adultery and brought to Jesus. He commanded the Pharisees to cast the first stone if they've never sinned. After I was thinking about this- Jesus never sinned, so technically he could have cast that stone but he didn't. He liked that woman, He loved her.
I've always struggled with identity issues and insecurities. The Lord revealed to me that a lie that I've grown up believing is- I am not worth it. I have something wrong with me and I can't do anything right. What a lie from the enemy. I've been trying to identify these places in my heart where I believe this lie and really surrender it to the Lord. I remember in elementary school writing on a sheet of paper asking if this boy- David- liked me and wanted to be my boyfriend (I'm sure now they text each other in elementary school) but the little boy looked at me and said no.
I grew up thinking that I wasn't worthy of that little boy saying yes and that played into every other relationship that I've had. Thats why in high school I never had a 'real boyfriend' just one guy who I fooled around with....and in middle school I believed that where I lived and how I dressed determined that I wasn't good enough for the boys.
I realized in Bolivia this summer when I shared my testimony with our group that I was still carrying a lot of hurt and wounds from those silly boys who told me 'no' and I believed that was who I was- the girl that wasn't worthy of being loved....or even liked.
So when I heard this message that hey- Jesus likes you. That he would and does everyday check 'yes' on that sheet of paper asking if he likes us and if he'll spend eternity with me... That he was embarrassed, beaten to a pulp, emotional and physically wounded on this earth- because he likes me.
Wow.
Isn't that what we're all searching for? I can specifically identify certain things I did in high school in order for people to like me. I changed the way I dressed, I said offensive and rude things, I made fun of and laughed at people- just so some girl or boy would look at me and say- yes....I accept you.
Jesus accepts you. He doesn't love you like a distant relative that only wants to see you in a stuffy church singing boring hymns. He looks at the way you laugh, the way you cry, your body posture, your weird quirks, the crazy dancing you do when your door is locked and you just feel like it.....He likes that about you- He likes your mind, the way you think and speak, the way you use your hands when you talk. You are not only loved...but liked.
At that meeting the speaker played a song and told us to ask God what He thinks about us- I closed my eyes and asked Him to give me a vision of the way He thinks about me. This is what I saw:
I was standing in a crowded room, in the back. Everyone else was out shining me in their beauty, humor, intelligence and I was small in comparison to them. I felt unseen, undervalued, and alone. Then Jesus got on stage and pointed directly at me. The crowd separated and I walked to the front. He said- I see you, I value you, I like you, I choose you.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
empowered by the Word.
First off let me say, God is awesome. I haven't felt very driven to post lately but I've been going through some trials, but God is rocking my world. I've been struggling with anxiety lately but the lessons that God has taught me through this time are unbelievable.
Here's some truth: God wants to help you and take your burdens wherever you are in your faith and life. You're NOT alone! Jesus understands what we are going through- he was tempted but here's the cool thing about Jesus- he has already defeated all those struggles and he promises us victory through Him! He is bigger then fear, anxiety, depression, divorce, hard times, brokenness, lust, abuse, whatever- our God is bigger and He wants to equip you with the armor for protection.
Through these hard times God has been teaching me about the armor of Christ and what I should be rooted in. Something that really stuck with me is that our feet are suppose to be rooted in the peace of the Word. In Psalm 34 we are told to, "seek peace and pursue it" and that has been my mantra lately. God gives us the word to use to empower us and to firmly stand on when the enemy tries to throw lies our way.
Some verses that I've been standing on is- 1 Peter 5:10 (the Message) "So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word and He always will."
and Romans 8:31- What, the, shall we say in response to this? IF OUR GOD IS FOR US, WHO CAN BE AGAINST US?!"
Christ loves us, not in some high school hot pink dramatic love that flees when times get hard- kind of way. He loves us with depth and soul and it can look rough around the edges and passionate and jealous- But he promises us so many things:
That He'll never leave or forsake me- Hebrews 13:5
That His grace is sufficient for us and our weakness is made perfect in his strength- 2 Corinthians 12:9
We are more then conquerors through him who loves us- Romans 8:37
So take heart beautiful brothers and sisters- God loves you and he sees your heart and your struggles. He wants you to cast your burdens and anxiety on Him. He cares for you, He likes you, He loves you.
Here's some truth: God wants to help you and take your burdens wherever you are in your faith and life. You're NOT alone! Jesus understands what we are going through- he was tempted but here's the cool thing about Jesus- he has already defeated all those struggles and he promises us victory through Him! He is bigger then fear, anxiety, depression, divorce, hard times, brokenness, lust, abuse, whatever- our God is bigger and He wants to equip you with the armor for protection.
Through these hard times God has been teaching me about the armor of Christ and what I should be rooted in. Something that really stuck with me is that our feet are suppose to be rooted in the peace of the Word. In Psalm 34 we are told to, "seek peace and pursue it" and that has been my mantra lately. God gives us the word to use to empower us and to firmly stand on when the enemy tries to throw lies our way.
Some verses that I've been standing on is- 1 Peter 5:10 (the Message) "So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word and He always will."
and Romans 8:31- What, the, shall we say in response to this? IF OUR GOD IS FOR US, WHO CAN BE AGAINST US?!"
Christ loves us, not in some high school hot pink dramatic love that flees when times get hard- kind of way. He loves us with depth and soul and it can look rough around the edges and passionate and jealous- But he promises us so many things:
That He'll never leave or forsake me- Hebrews 13:5
That His grace is sufficient for us and our weakness is made perfect in his strength- 2 Corinthians 12:9
We are more then conquerors through him who loves us- Romans 8:37
So take heart beautiful brothers and sisters- God loves you and he sees your heart and your struggles. He wants you to cast your burdens and anxiety on Him. He cares for you, He likes you, He loves you.
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