idols

The past two weeks the ministry I am involved in at ECU has done a series about Idols.  Both weeks have been super powerful and completely relevant to everyone's faith walk.  We all have idols, whether its something  like making your boyfriend your god or worrying about a test and not trusting God, they are all idols and we put things before God.
Last night the speaker talked about how one of the biggest and most common idol- is ourself.  Which is so freaking true.  We do things to get something for ourself.  We go to church, we get involved to get things out of it...for ourself.  This summer I found myself serving these orphans because I liked the way it felt to get attention from the kids, to get recognition from my teammates, to get pictures for my facebook album.  God  is so much bigger then us, His plan is so much greater then us.  We are so selfish in our motives and we idolize ourselves and our needs before the desires of God's heart and his plan.  We try to control God, tell him what the plan should be and when something goes wrong we get angry at God....
I find this in myself, in my day to day living...not trusting God and realizing that the course of my life is not what I planned.  I didn't plan for my parents to get a divorce.  I did not plan for my parents to be dating other people, I did not plan having to love more people and having two separate families. I did not plan that I would have to split up holidays and then get blamed with I didn't separate the time perfectly... I try to control, I try to manipulate...I'm looking out for me and my wants and how I want things to flow.
But God is bigger then me.  My God is bigger then lying, pain, wounds, disease, insecurities, anger, depression...My God  is bigger.
My God calls me to trust him, to cast my burdens on Him...He is a gentle and loving God. and we give Him this persona as this God who has abandoned us.  Guess who has put that thought in our minds? The enemy.  He creeps in and tells us that we're alone, that no one feels the way that we feel.  That isolation is the better option then talking to our community or even God.  The enemy makes us question where God is and if God even cares.

But here is some truth, because this past week for me has been hell, and when I've been hysterically sobbing in my car, calling out to God (literally) asking Him- where are you? Why am I so alone? Why don't you care?

This is what we MUST stand on:
Our God is greater then my understanding.
Our God calls us worthy and he sacrificed EVERYTHING so that we will never be alone.
Our God is sufficient, and us trying to control and manipulate will never satisfy us...we are not that good.
Our God loves unconditionally, despite our selfishness....He is there.
Our God desires you to be whole, and He is the only one that can make you that way.