I'm in need of some breakthrough...

I'm currently listening to the song, He Will Come By: Enter the Worship Circle and these lyrics resonate in my mind:

"Wait child, I'm in love with you
Its a solemn vow
I'll come back for you."

Sometimes I feel alone and just plain, dumb.  I don't know if there is any other word then dumb, which is so childish and immature.  I feel like I can do nothing right, I have judgmental eyes and a judgmental heart and I look at Christ's children with disgust rather then love and compassion.
I put other things above God, even things I hate like homework and gossip with friends.
So many things in this world seem dirty- like comparing your body to other girls on campus, like gossiping about a friend, thinking hateful and angry thoughts...etc.
But I feel like these dirty things are consuming my life.
Last night I was with some good friends and we sat around eating ice cream talking about a friend's ex-boyfriend....and somehow I justified it in my head.  I walked around campus with my size 8 jeans on and I was mortified I had to unbutton the top button and the whole time I was coveting other girls body shapes... I just sat in the dining hall and judged most of the people that I walked past.
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME?!!

I'm done with my heart being like this....I'm done-

Lord, Take these evil thoughts.
Lord, take the wickedness from my heart and my soul.  Rip out the sin and darkness in my heart, even if it hurts I don't want it anymore.
I want to love people and love you and somehow I get in the way of that every single day.
Lord, I am so imperfect and broken and ugly and I have this lack of faith that you can't redeem me from this...or you don't even want me anymore.
I feel like a failure at everything Lord.  Speak truth into my heart and cleanse me Father.
God, I can't do this anymore, I can't keep on putting up these walls and fronts that I have it all together.
Dad, please...help me.  Hold my hand and guide me. I love you and I want to serve you.
Humble me daddy....I need you. I can't do this on my own.
I love you, help me.
rachel